The Little Things

I recently read this poem that a childhood friend shared on her Instagram. Before I even finished reading the title, I felt myself automatically double clicking the photo to like it. Because in a moment of being so absorbed in the big picture of my life here in Thailand, in this concrete jungle, and all the things I like to bitch and moan about on a daily basis in regards to transitioning back to the routine I was running away from. . . I was reminded of “the little things”.

And it made me touch base with myself. To remember what I live for. Really, what we all live for. Because the whole great picture can create major heart palpitations, but the small little crevices, the short little moments. . . those are the ones that keep us going. These little things are what encourage the butterflies in our stomach, to enter our heart, to find homage fluttering and kicking up the sparkle in our life.

Little Thing #1: I had a really long, stressful day at school teaching 3 and 4 year olds who just look at me with puzzling, blank stares. I was shuffling my feet on the hot walk home, deciding if the sweltering humidity or a long night of lesson planning sounded more appealing. I was becoming absorbed in the monotony of my current situation: work, yoga, eat, work, sleep. And then I heard from someone in a line of traffic jammed cars, “Teacher Nola,” “Teacher Nola!” Before I even scanned the scene for one of my little nuggets, I was already beaming, because it is so amazing to be called Nola. I’m no longer Nora here, the “r” is hard for Thai’s to pronounce, so they call me Nola. And it melts my heart every time I hear it. It reminds me I’m doing something different. My student AJ was shaking his hand out the window with such enthusiasm, and when I started to wave back he got even more excited. 

Walking down the highway, with my student screaming from the car for his teacher. It might not seem like much to you, but it was the simplest thing that jolted me back to happiness and grace.

Little Thing #2: I had finished dressing the last kid and couldn’t wait to put them down for nap. Naptime might mean dreamtime for them, but it means relaxation time for me. So sometimes I see myself rushing through the process to get them down, so I can get out.  One of my boys, Fifa, always likes to make silly faces and is a complete giggle master. As I was cuddling next to him, he put his arm around me and let out a big ole FART. I couldn’t help from giggling, and he turned around, looked me in the eyes, and just started uncontrollably cackling.

Being farted on by a kid might have a lot of people grossed out. But for me it was a little reminder that my students feel comfortable around me. To just let it all out.

Little Thing #3: There is this girl in my class named Design, and for the first two weeks I was completely positive she was scared of me. It’s pretty easy for me to connect with kids, but I tried everything with this girl, and she wasn’t budging. She would always just look at me with these nervous eyes, like what are you trying to do lady?

But on this day, I was standing outside during after school recess. As I looked down, I noticed Design by my side, and she kicked me her shoe. I kicked it back. She began to smirk. And we played this game of sliding her shoe on the pavement. Just like that, in this artless motion of pushing a shoe back and forth, we became friends. And now, most days, she still follows me around the playground.

Little Thing #4: I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this girl Kaotoo, she is completely afraid of water. She kicks and screams when she goes to the toilet, she doesn’t like when it rains outside, and getting her near the swimming pool has been the ultimate test. Luckily, she speaks very good English and is able to communicate the fact that she does NOT like getting wet.

We have swimming class once a week, and it has been my mission to get this beautiful girl, tormented by the feeling of wetness, to enter the pool. And after three weeks of school, I was finally able to get her in. She was shaking, she was crying, she was pleading to not let her drown. But I just squeezed this little monkey tight and continued to soother her and whisper that I would never let her go. I can’t say that she enjoyed it, but she did let me hold her in the water, and for that I am grateful. Because there was a slight second when she stopped being emotional, when she took a breath and chilled out, and that moment was worth everything.

My classroom is filled with little ones, who share with me their little moments each day. And sometimes the little moments look like a kid peeing his pants and then crying incessantly. Sometimes the little moments look like a petrified kid resistant to sitting in the corner for not following the rules. But sometimes the little moments look like a group of kids smiling as I enter the classroom and saying, “Go-od Mo-rning Teach-a Nola.” And it means more than you could ever imagine.